NOTE: THIS WEEKEND'S COLUMNS WILL BE PRECEDED BY THE WORLD'S FIRST-KNOW JOKES ABOUT REP. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES DUNCAN HUNTER AND SAM BROWNBACK!!!  MONDAY MORNING'S COLUMN WILL FEATURE PREVIOUS JOKES (OF MINE) AND NEW ONES (OF MINE AND, HOPEFULLY, YOURS).  YOU'RE INVITED TO SUBMIT YOUR OWN.  MIKE GRAVEL JOKES ARE EXTREMELY RARE.  COME VISIT.  YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME.


"The President is always blamed for being so divisive, but see how much he's managed to unite the Democrats. " (contributed by Rodger Morrow of The Writing Company blog, with link to the right)


Scroll down for comments on last night's Democratic debate between the lame, the halt, and the blind. 

It has come to my attention that the world is suffering from a serious shortage of Mitt Romney jokes, a situation I intend to rectify immediately. 

Actually, Romney looks very good for a guy who's treated his hair with shellac.

But does this all this Mormon fever mean those missionaries will be coming to our doors saying, "God wants you to vote for Mitt Romney?"

Early Mormon leader Brigham Young had 56 children.  There's no truth to the rumor that he did it for the tax deductions. 

The Mormon Church was founded by a man named Joseph Smith, obvious an alias.  After all, if you had 28 wives, would you use your real name?

It's a crazy presidential race when the Mormon candidate is positioning himself as the guy who's only had one wife. 

One Utah observer impressed by Romney's ability to get money from his tight-fisted co-religionists said, "If Mitt can shake money out of those cheapskates, doing away with the national deficit will be a piece-of-cake." 

Catholic interlude: When he became a priest, Pope Benedict XVI took vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.  Compared to his predecessor, he's also apparently taken a vow of invisibility.

The head of Mitt Romney's Mormon church is Gordon B. Hinckley, age 96.  He's apparently the one who called John McCain a "whipper-snapper." 

One Mormon observer described Mr. Hinckley as "extremely vigorous."  At 96, that means he restricts his afternoon naps to two hours. 

GOOD MORNING/AAFTERNOON AMERICA!  MY REAL-TIME REVIEW, COMMENTARY, HUMOR SEGMENT ON THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE IS BELOW THE FOLLOWING PIECE.  i WOULD LIKE TO SOLICIT YOUR COMMENTS ON THE DEBATE OF COURSE, BUT ESPECIALLY ON THE FOLLOWING PIECE.  IT'S EXACTLY WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT WHEN THEY RAIL AGAINST THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA.  I'LL COMMENT SOME ON IT LATER TODAY.  IT IS A VERY STRANGE PIECE INDEED.  If you don't want to use the comments segment, write to me at TalkTop65@aol.com or at TalkTop65@netscape.com

The headline reads:  Cheney Draws Protests Even at BYU  (a huge Mormon University in Utah, and the alma mater of Mitt Romney)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Vice President Dick Cheney told Brigham Young University graduates
Thursday to savor second chances and be prepared for the unexpected throughout life in a commencement address that stirred up protests in one of the nation's most Republican states.

"Don't give up or let your doubts get the best of you," Cheney said. "For all the plans we make in life, sometimes life has other plans for us."

On a campus where dissent is unusual, about 100 people protested quietly ahead of Cheney's arrival, holding signs reading: "Mormon for peace" and "Make soup, not war."

Utah voters have consistently supported the administration, delivering President Bush his largest margins of victory in any state in 2000 and 2004. In the county that is home to the university, about 85 percent of voters chose the GOP ticket in 2004.

But the war in Iraq has weakened support for the White House. Cheney critics at BYU have questioned whether he sets a good example for graduates, citing his role in promoting faulty intelligence and his involvement in the CIA leak scandal, which led to his chief of staff's conviction for perjury and obstruction of justice.

Cheney's 14-minute address to more than 6,200 graduates didn't touch on any political topics. He thanked the school's ROTC members for their service and said they would be joining a military that is "a great force for justice, freedom and security."

Outside, the protesters on campus were not allowed to chant or make noise or attack The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said Darren Jackson, 22, president-elect of the College Democrats.

"This war has been mishandled," said Jackson, who acknowledged the group had only about 25 active members, "which isn't much out of 30,000 students."

A handful of veterans holding a peace banner stood on a street corner off campus.

At the nearby city library, College Republicans and others passed out U.S. flags and held up welcome signs.

"We are just here to show there's a lot of support for the vice president in Provo," said BYU student Colby Green, 22, of Orem. "We wanted people to know that the vocal minority is not the majority."

That became clear when Cheney was introduced. He received thunderous applause from the 20,000 people at gathered at the university, which is owned by the Mormon church. The crowd cheered louder for Cheney than they did for church President Gordon B. Hinckley, whom Mormons consider a prophet.

The problem with this story is that, starting with the headline, is that it completely misrepresents the reception Vice-President Cheney received at BYU.  We hear at length about a small, hapless group of protestors, suggesting that Cheney can't get a friendly group even at a conservative university.  Then, in the paragraph in boldface, we find that 20,000 people cheered him wildly.  Why isn't that the lead paragraph?  Alas, we all know the answer to that one.  The story is a classic of media manipulation.